Keep Me Going
by Vertical Skyline
Summary: Poor Axel, dealing with so many emotions at once. c; Not exactly my BEST work, but ya know...whatever... o-e..


"Oh Roxy!" I called as I skipped down the hallway. "Roxy, Roxy, Roxy!"

Roxas was Number XIII of the Organization XIII and my best friend of all time.

"Roxy!" I exclaimed as I reached his door. "Have you forgotten that it's game night?"

I opened his door and saw him jump up and turn around. I then saw the dark-haired girl that was Number XIV, which made no sense. They were on the bed and they both had an exposed expression on their faces.

"I-I-I'm...sorry," I stuttered and then closed the door, watching the floor the entire time.

I pressed my back to the door and slid down to where I was sitting, keeping my hand on the doorknob all the time. Suddenly, it was like my world was on pause and I was sitting in eternal darkness...well..._visible_ darkness...I felt an emotion? It was weird. I didn't like it, either. After a moment, I stood up and went into the Grey Area. There were Marluxia, Larxene, and the impostor, Riku. I walked past them, Riku playing his DS and Larxene flirting with Marluxia, to the window wall. I stared out at the heart-shaped moon that was to be Kingdom Hearts with my arms crossed over my chest. It was constructed of the hearts each Nobody longed for. Though, we understood not why we never received one...

"Axel?" that smooth male's voice asked.

I jumped a little and turned to look at the pink-haired man.

"What's wrong?" Marluxia wondered.

"It's nothing," I replied with a shrug, trying to pretend that I didn't care about the whole Roxas and Xion thing.

"Tell me the truth," Marluxia commanded, standing from the sofa and strolling to me.

"I am telling the truth," I sighed and turned on my heel, walking to the corner farthest from everyone.

"No you're not you redheaded freak," Marluxia growled.

"That you know of, flower-loving pixie boy," I retorted.

Suddenly, as I turned to face him, I was rammed into the wall, him holding my wrists against it and staring into my eyes.

"Tell. Me. Now!" he snarled.

"Why do you care?" I demanded, tearing up.

"That's none of your business!" he snapped. "Just tell me!"

"Not in front of them..." I sighed, hanging my head.

He let me go and I ran around him and out of the room. I flat out sprinted out of the castle and down the road of The World That Never Was. I turned in to an alleyway and just sat in the pouring rain against a wall. My hair was falling into my eyes as I pounded my head against the wall. I can't believe I agreed to telling the lord of Castle Oblivion that I had some sort of feelings for Roxas...

"Axel!" Marluxia shouted from a little down the way.

I heard his boots splashing in the puddles of the rain. He stopped and stood on his tiptoes, looking for me, and then down the alley. He spotted me and came over, sitting on his knees beside me.

"Now can you tell me?" he asked quietly.

"When I saw Roxas and Xion in his room..." I began. "I don't know. I can't understand it..."

"Understand what?"

"Marly..." I sighed. "I think that...I might have feelings for Roxas..."

Suddenly, I felt arms wrap around me and pull me into a warm, strong body.

"I know how you feel, Ax," Marly whispered. "To like someone who doesn't like you back in that way...I'm here for you..."

Then, I felt a pang of guilt as I realised who he might have been talking about. I mean, everyone liked him. Even I did. It must have been Zexion. Everyone had some kind of a crush on him for some reason. But, why would _I_ feel guilty?

"Thanks Marly," I sniffled. "Sorry for calling you a pixie boy..."

"Sorry for calling you a freak..."

I sat up and smiled at him. He always made me feel warm and fuzzy inside when I really needed it. It was a nice getaway. Especially since he usually came and watched movies like _Wristcutters: A Love Story_ and even, on the total opposite side of the scale, _Remember Me_ with me almost every night. He was so amazing to talk to. Then, he let me go and stared into my eyes. I felt so good with him. I could be myself...

_Next Day..._

He rammed me against the wall in the storage closet and glared at me. He held my wrists to the wall, with one hand, and the other was holding him up from me.

"If I find out that you're even _thinking_ of hurting yourself ever again, like you did a year ago, this won't be even the _least_ of your worries," he growled.

"Why would you care, Marluxia?" I demanded.

He suddenly pressed himself on me as if to shut me up. He used that free hand and planted it over my mouth to listen to the outside world.

"Have you seen Axel?" Roxas asked.

"Not since yesterday when he went and talked with Marluxia," Riku replied, obviously preoccupied.

"But...freaking Marluxia is, like, _in love_ with him!" Roxas exclaimed.

"Just like _you_ are with Axel?" Riku scoffed and Roxas gasped. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go and call Sora."

Both sets of footsteps walked away and Marluxia let me go and then reached for the doorknob.

"Don't leave," I said quickly, grabbing his arm, and he stopped, shocked. "Don't leave me..."

Marluxia turned and looked at me in confusion. I let him go and lifted my sleeves shakily. I showed him my burn marks. He could tell, by the pattern, that they weren't accidental like all of my others. He held me against the wall again and looked at me forcefully.

"You promised, Axel," he said quietly.

"Do you really love me?" I asked suddenly.

His eyes widened as he looked at me, astonished that I would ask.

"I...uh...I..." he said, looking down, releasing my wrists and instead planting his hands on the wall near my waist.

I forced his chin up and stared into his blue eyes.

"Even you said that Nobodies have no heart, and thus no emotions..." I whispered.

"I lied..." he muttered.

I sighed and let his chin go. Then, I felt a warm, strong body press to mine and then soft, moist lips upon my own. My eyes widened more and then, I just fell to him. What if I never loved Roxas? What if it was all to mask the feelings I had for Marluxia at that very instant? I just didn't know anymore...He pulled away and I pressed the tips of my fingers to my lips as he walked away. I hurried out to catch him, but I was confronted by a familiar teenage blond boy.

"Axel!" Roxas exclaimed.

"Hey, Roxy," I responded, looking for Marluxia.

"So, I need to tell you something," Roxas sighed.

I looked down at him, signaling for him to go on and just say what he was going to say.

"I...I...uh...er...I love you..." he answered hesitantly.

I spotted Marluxia heading out onto the street. "You know, I thought I loved you too, but truth is, I'm not so sure anymore, so if you'll excuse me..." I ran around Roxas. "Marluxia!"

I chased him down the road and finally caught him as he stopped and he began crying.

"Let me go!" he sobbed, bending over as if in agony. "Let me go!"

"Marluxia, calm down!" I yelled over him and the still pouring rain.

"Let me go!" he shouted and then fell limp. "Just...let me go, please..."

I let him go and he fell to his knees. I knelt down beside him as he buried his face in his palms. I pulled him into my arms to comfort him. He just continued to cry, giving no indication or notice to my affection toward him.

"What's wrong, Marly?" I asked gently, as if he would break if any different way.

"I w-went into th-the Grey Area and-and Lar-Larxene was m-mad at m-me and then Z-Z-Zexion was ma-mad at m-me and Saix c-ca-called me a na-name..." he wept.

"What did Saix call you?"

"A f-f-fag..." he stammered.

I suddenly had the urge to burn, no longer myself, but Saix and his creepy self.

"I'll get him for it, I swear. As for Zexy, do you know why he'd be mad at you?"

"N-no..." Marly sniffled.

Finally, he let his hands fall into his lap and he laid his head against my chest. I sunk lower, sitting as close to him as I could without having him in my lap. He took one of my hands and held it in his, messing with my glove and then the chain hanging on my coat. I pressed my mouth to his head and he sighed shakily. Then, after about fifteen minutes, I started to stand, helping him to his feet. I curled an arm around his waist and led him back to the castle.

"Was there anything else that you were leaving out?" I wondered.

"The fact that y-you love Roxas and n-not the one who r-really loves you..." Marluxia said with a sniffle.

"You don't know that, Marly."

"Yeah I do..."

"Marluxia..." I stopped, holding him still and then forced him to look at me. "I sincerely and truthfully _do_ love the one who loves me."

"Who is it th-that loves you?"

"...You..."

He gasped and hung his head. I lifted his chin and stared into those beautiful sapphires that were his eyes. Hesitantly, I lowered my head a bit and pressed my lips lightly to his. Upon pulling away, Marluxia's knees gave out. I caught him and laughed a tiny laugh. He blushed and chuckled sheepishly. I then took him back to the castle and into the Grey Area. I sat him on the sofa and went over to Saix.

"Tell me, what were you thinking?" I growled.

"About what?" Saix asked.

"Calling my Marly a fag," I snarled.

"_Your_ Marly?" he grinned.

"You're one to talk, Number VII," I snapped. "Don't think I don't know what you and the Superior do in your spare time!"

"Wha-I-I-I have no idea of what you're talking about!" Saix shouted defensively.

"Xemnas tells me everything!" I scoffed. "I _am_ the favourite, after all..."

"That's not true!"

"Yes it is! Now, if you insult Marluxia again, it's your ass!"

Saix growled and stomped away. Marly and Zexy both started laughing. Then I noticed that they had made up. That was a good sign, but if that was so, that meant Marly would go to him instead. Maybe, if Zexion was really my friend, he would tell Marluxia to go for me, but it was unlikely. I just went over and sat in one of the chairs. I grabbed Zexion's Lexicon and started skimming through it. Before I knew it, Marluxia was asleep and Zexion was reading over my shoulder to me what each spell meant. I handed him his book and went to grab Marly to take him to his room, but the Cloaked Schemer stopped me.

"If you really love him, maybe you should prove it somehow..." he said quietly.

I nodded once, unsurely, and he walked out. I picked up Marly and carried him to his room, laying him gently down on his bed. I then took a seat in his chair and began to doze off after a while. Then, I was awakened by a sudden knocking at the door.

"I didn't do it!" Marluxia exclaimed, sitting straight up in bed, looking around, and then falling back down, rubbing his eyes with the backs of his hands.

I stood up and answered it. It was Larxene, so naturally she immediately pushed me aside and ran to the pink-haired boy's side. He groaned as she started swooning over him and asking him stupid questions. I rolled my eyes and plopped back down on the chair. Larxene turned and glared at me, so I instantly stood back up and walked out. I went back to my room, closed and locked the door, and fell onto my bed. I rested my arm over my eyes and sighed. It had been a long, long night...Then, I heard a knocking on my door.

"Axel?" Marluxia called through the door. "Open the door please?"

I got up, unlocked it, and went back to the bed.

"It's not locked," I called softly.

He opened and closed it quietly and then crawled into the bed with me. I scooted over, giving him some room, and then looked at him.

"What was it that Larxene was talking to you about?" I asked.

"She was saying that it would be better for me to date her instead of, for instance, you," Marly replied. "I told her off and then came here."

"That makes me feel good about myself, I guess..."

He chuckled a bit and I lied back comfortably on my bed with my arms folded underneath my head. Marluxia laid back as well, resting _his_ head on top of my arm. I moved that one and wrapped it around him. Sometimes he was almost like a puppy dog. A _lost_ puppy dog.

_Weeks Later..._

"Larxene, it's your fault!" Marluxia shouted. I could hear him through the Grey Area door. "It's your fault Zexion's gone, it's your fault I'm so effeminate, and it's your fault Demyx won't talk to me! Why must you constantly try to ward off everyone and everything I care about?"

"Because I'm in love with you!" she cried.

Marly and I gasped simultaneously. Quickly, I walked away from the door because my gasp was rather loud and I went outside the castle. It was one of the rare days in which no rain had fallen yet, so I took a little walk. Along the way, however, I ran into a problem. The problem was Sora and Kairi. Though Riku had become one of us, they were still after the Organization.

"Axel," Sora growled.

I waved at him and continued walking, my hood up and my hands in my pockets.

"Axel!" Kairi squeaked.

I stopped with a groan and turned, looking at them.

"The hell do you want?" I sighed.

"A fight!" Sora exclaimed, sounding offended.

"Not in the mood, thanks for the offer though," I shrugged. "Ask Roxy or Demy. I'm not up to it."

I ignored their rude remarks and continued along my way. I opened a Dark Corridor and entered, going into the dark divide. Only the lucky ones knew where it was and that it existed. I went there on occasion just to get away from everything. Though, this time, I may not return. I was scared to start burning myself again. I might take it farther than just that. I might actually kill myself if I stayed.

I sat and then laid back in the sand. I listened to the calm waves in front of me. The gentle breeze around me. The nothingness was soothing.

Then, my phone started blowing up with his ringtone after about an hour. I pulled my cell out of my pocket and hesitantly answered.

"What's up, Marly?" I said.

"Help!" he whispered through the phone.

"What?" I shot up straight.

"Sora and Kairi are killing us off!" Marluxia cried. "Zexion and Larxene and Saix and Demyx and Xion and Roxas and-and-and-"

"Calm down, Marluxia," I snapped. "Now, what?"

"Sora and Kairi killed off everyone except me, Riku, and Xemnas," Marluxia sobbed quietly. "We're hiding in Demyx's room..."

"I'll be there soon," I said and started to hang up, but Marly caught me before I did.

"Hurry..."

"I will."

I shut the phone, shoved it deep into my pocket, and opened the Corridor straight to the Grey Area. I ran through the halls and searched each groove and room along the way. Then, I found Sora and Kairi. They were nearing Demyx's room.

"Sora!" I yelled.

They both stopped and turned to face me. Sora grinned evilly then I realised that it wasn't him. His eyes glowed red, as did Kairi's, and that grin swirled into something sinister. I had no idea of what I was up against. It looked like a boss-type Nobody. Not a boss-type like the Organization, but the kind that could crush the Dusks into oblivion if they felt like it. Whatever they were, they were inhuman. Then, I saw Marluxia come out, followed by Riku and Xemnas. They all ran around the creepy..._things_ and joined me as I summoned my Chakrams. Marluxia with his Scythe, Riku with his Keyblade, and Xemnas with the Ethereal Blades.

"Give into the darkness," Riku said.

"Through power over nothing, I seek power over everything," Xemnas said lowly.

"In the arc of my Scythe, flowers grow and all else perishes," Marluxia snarled.

"I'm an assassin who puts his own agenda first, and everything else on the back burner," I growled. "Got it memorized?"

The inhuman Nobodies cackled and then, they completely lost the _shape_ of Sora and Kairi. Their arms were thin, bony. Their fingers were more like needles. The faces...don't even get me started. Talk about nerve-wrecking...

We lunged first and hit preemptively. The next thing I knew, they were back on their feet and the one that used to be Sora extended his arms, aiming his claws right between Marly's eyes, so I jumped over and saved the flower-boy. I went to get up, but Marluxia held me close to him. Meanwhile, Riku and Xemnas were getting pummeled and I was about to kiss a fairly effeminate boy. I did, too. I lifted my head and stared into his eyes momentarily and then lowered it again, forcing my mouth against his. First it was these stupid feelings for Roxas, and now Marluxia? What the hell was wrong with me? I lifted up again and smiled at his red-flushed face.

"You know Marluxia," I started softly. "All these years, it was you who kept me going..."

He smiled and then Xemnas forced the both of us up. It was limit time. All four of us were to attack with all we had at the same time. Well, all we had that we could put out there and not kill ourselves.

"Four," Riku whispered.

"Three..." Xemnas.

"Two..." Marluxia.

"...One..." Me.

We attacked. My fire was accompanied by Xemnas' partial light and Marly's vines and plant minions were helped out by Riku's darkness. It worked, on the bright side. On the down side, we were all about half-dead by then. We all just kind of fell to the floor and lied there. Marluxia moved over and rested his head on my chest, so I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight. I loved him...I loved him...I loved him...

_7 Years later..._

"Axel," Marluxia said sweetly and quietly to wake me up. "Oh, Axel. Time to get up. It's our turn to go out to Twilight Town today..."

I smiled sleepily and pulled him into the bed with me, forcing him under the blanket. I happily showed him my bare arms, showing that I had gone that long without maiming myself.

"Just because I fell in love with someone who actually loved me back," I chuckled.

He smiled and hugged me. He was so warm and then...I heard something...I became deadly serious and held him down as I pressed my ear to his chest.

"What are you-" he began.

"Shush," I hissed.

I listened. A heartbeat. Then, I lifted away and pressed my hand against my own ribcage. Hearts. WE had hearts. We really did! Marluxia apparently realised it as I did and was as excited as me. We hugged one another and stayed there like that until I finally just fell over, holding him in my arms. The pain and suffering was gone. The war was over. The heart-hunt was done. I had the best man in the world by my side. I guess, all in all, my life went from zero to sixty in about three point five seconds. And I had Marluxia to thank for it.

"Thank you, Marluxia," I whispered.

"For what?" he wondered.

"For being my reason to live..."


End file.
